I Am

Ojas Mehta
The Existentialist
Published in
3 min readMar 3, 2023

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I am not my thoughts. My thoughts change but I remain. I can see these thoughts
I am not my feelings. My feelings change but I remain. I can see these feelings
I am not my moods. My moods fluctuate, but I remain. I can see these moods
I am not my health. My health sometimes becomes better, sometimes worse. But I remain.
I am not my age. My age changes, but I remain the same.

I am not defined by country. I may move from here to there but I remain the same
I am not defined by religion. My beliefs may change but I remain the same
I am not my relationships. Sometimes I am loved, sometimes I am alone, but I always am
I am not my wealth. Money comes and goes, but I remain.
I am not my achievements. Achievements come and go

I am not fear. Fear comes and goes
I am not anger. Anger comes and goes but I remain
I am not my personality. My personality changes all the time but I don’t
I am not my mind. The mind is turbulent but I can just observe
I am not my body. My body changes form. From baby, to child, to youth, to adult, to old, but I remain the same

The world keeps moving, I’m always here
People change, life situations change, body changes, thoughts change, but I am still I.
Over this life, I have gained so much, and lost many things too. But I still am.

I am not anything that can be defined
That can be conceptualized
Science has tried to explain it
Religion has tried to point to it
But I am beyond name and form.

I am the very fabric of the universe

I am truth, consciousness, bliss.
Sat, Chit, Ananda

Even these are concepts

Then who am I?
That I must find out.

When I’m awake, I am here. Here I am.
When asleep, I’m still there. I wake up to myself. I was always there.
When dreaming, I know that I am.

I am not in space. No matter where I go, there I am.
I am not in time. Time comes, and time goes. Time keeps passing. I’m still here.

I remain ever present. Everything else comes and goes.

Because I am here, I can experience this reality.

I see through these eyes
I move through this body
I know through this mind

But I am not these eyes, this body, this mind.

Then who am I?
That I must find out.

When did I begin?.. Since when have I been here?
Where did I come from?.. Where was I before I was born?
Where will I go after I die?
When will I end?

How can something that had no beginning have an end.

Everything with a name and form arises and passes away.

The only thing for sure is that I am. And this has never changed.

Then who am I?
What am I?
That I must find out.

— — — — —

A line from the book “A Course in Miracles”
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God

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