Let’s make babies
I need to capture this because it is special. I hope there will be many such moments, but I’ve seen far too much of the other side to take it for granted and believe this is only how it will be from now on. No joy is everlasting, just like no sadness is. I am no longer chronically depressed, nor am I free from depression. But yes, I’m certainly visibly happier than before, and that’s enough.
A myriad happy love songs are playing on my mind, and I’m letting myself swing and sway to them, whilst not forgetting my centre. I am esctatic, effervescent, elated and yet calm. I don’t need this to last forever and know it won’t, and this in turn is helping me sip every moment in delight.. the way I have been sipping my morning drink, sugarcane juice and the rare chai lately. I am developing respect for everything, taking nothing for granted. This universe has been hand sculpted for my pleasure, but I am increasingly are it’s my hand that’s sculpted it, so I’m going to enjoy every grain of it, not throw any of it mindlessly away because it’s all me and all of me. It took me many years to value my own life and form, but it’s not taken long since to figure that in valuing the environment and beings around me, I am valuing myself; and in valuing myself I’m paying homage to everything around.
I am grateful for a precious human life, I have worked hard to get it, I am not going to throw it away or waste it. Just like a farmer never abandons his crop, a mother her children. My body (form) has been entrusted with the responsibility and privilege of manifesting my luminous soul in this world of form. I am going to live up to this royal challenge, and golden opportunity. I am grateful to access the essence of all existence. Without a password. All of it lays bare for my seeing eye to witness, for my skin to feel, for my tongue to taste. I navigate through the fabric of the universe with ease, with ease it flows through me. Everytime the inside aligns with outside, I feel the free flow. Everytime I am aware that this is happening, I am suddenly aware of myself. And everything around me. I realise what it means to be alive. And such a moment of clarity is what makes life worth living.
No we aren’t living or choosing to live. Life is alive, it lives on and on.. and resonates with itself each time there is conscious approval. Saying yes to life is the only choice we can ever make. And even that is not a matter of choice, it’s about when not if. Satya Meva Jayate — truth always triumphs. Both light and darkness cannot exist without one another. But darkness is not the opposite of light, just the absence of it. Light is the only real thing there is. And that light is me. The reason I can see the depth of darkness is because I’m seeing in light of the light within. I used to be afraid of the dark, now I see darkness as an opportunity to expand. The further away into the darkness I go, the more I illuminate it with my light. Indeed, to walk with the lantern is my job (karma / doing) and my nature (dharma /being). It’s wonderful when doing and being is the same thing. And here’s how. I’m not walking with any lantern — I AM the lantern. I cannot help but spread brightness wherever I go, whatever I do. Even at those times when I do the not doing anything. That is when I illuminate myself. “I” is the light and “myself” is the form. The form is a channel of the divine I, but it needs nourishment too. To acknowledge and respect its presence is already the highest form of worship. To be is the highest form of doing. Within perfect stillness there is all the vibrance of the universe. In perfect emptiness all of the universe is contained. Duality is the father (and mother) of oneness. Now let’s make babies!
(Composed 29th May 2018)
