7:31 am
Part 1. I am free
What a relief. Now that you have set me free, I can finally set you free. Rather, now that you have set yourself free, I can set myself free.
It’s such a relief I don’t need to run from you anymore. Live in guilt and shame anymore
I am free.
Free at last!
You actually left. I thought you’d never leave. I didn’t think I would leave. But since you made the decision, it’s easier for me.
What a wake up call though! And at such a good time. I feel strong, and yet I needed the kick in the ass to tell me to get serious about pursuing my dream life.
Thanks for shaking up my reality.
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Part 2. Never alone
For the first time in a long time, I am truly alone again. Not really, I am forever connected — to myself, my mom, my lovely friends, to all living & non living beings. I am never really alone, never walk alone. But in this moment I stand alone. And I don’t feel weak in the knees. I am finding that I can stand up straight.
There was no horror and no ecstasy when I got the news. No depression and no anger. So it is, so it is.
No need to jump to any conclusions, make any hasty decisions. No need to jump at all. Just stay steady.
I’m more single than I’ve ever been. More single than I thought I was yesterday. Single, and available, just as soon as I come to terms with this new reality.
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Part 3. I will always love you
But hey, my lover of ages, just so you know I still love you. That is untainted and will always be.
My love, you always suspected me (maybe I suspected you too although you didn’t give me such reason). But you should know, even after we have been “apart” for so long, I still haven’t cheated on you. I don’t cheat.
I’m glad you found someone worthy. And I’m amazed that I don’t feel jealous. Wow!
I hope he cherishes you just as much as I do.
I will still carry you with me, for a while. With joy and love as I always have. Until it begins to fade away. I still cherish you and will do, whenever you come to mind. Although it might be less often now.
But take nothing away from the moments we shared. That’s one album I’d never want to lose.
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Part 4. Thank you for everything
I supposedly broke up with you a long time ago. But thank you for finally breaking up with me. Because that’s the only way I would have let you go.
Thank you for moving on and giving me permission to move on. I didn’t realize my devotion to you had become my prison.
Thank you for forgiving me and yourself. That you could love again. I promise I will too.
Thank you for making me understand some things are just not meant to be, although they felt so so right. It’s okay.
Thank you for helping me experience love. Hot, explosive love. Vibrant love.
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Part 5. I am alive
Isn’t it great that neither of us has to die nor kill the other. We can both live, together apart. Never really apart. Together as one with everything.
I am not dead mate. Very much alive. More alive than yesterday.
You didn’t drown me, you just gave me new life!
Last night when you told me, something died. Today I am born again.
I feel like I’ve had a bath after a long long time.
— — — —
Mangoes are hard to find. Mangoes are everywhere.
